How surrogacy helped my sister and friends | Letters

I wish to respond to Lexi Ellingsworth’s letter (Regulation cannot eliminate surrogacy risks, 23 July). I gave birth to a baby for my friends in January. While the baby is living with its parents, my husband and I are the legal parents. We are waiting for our family court date in September to recognise the baby’s biological parents as legal parents.

My surrogacy story started when my sister suffered complications following the birth of her first child. After a second difficult birth, the doctors told her that it wouldn’t be safe for her to carry any more children. I became an auntie via surrogacy when my sister’s friend carried her third child. Now my niece is a determined five‑year-old, just as much a part of the family as her older siblings, and I see no evidence that her origins have any impact.

In 2023, some friends confided they had joined SurrogacyUK as they hoped to start a family, but needed some help. David had been my husband’s best friend since primary school, and my friend since university, and is now our daughter’s godfather.

They were very surprised when I offered to be their surrogate. I was aware of the risks, but I was surrounded by support. During the pregnancy, our friends recorded children’s stories. I played these through little speakers on my belly so the baby would recognise their parents’ voices from birth.

The legal challenges were highlighted when their baby became extremely unwell at only 11 days old. My husband and I – as legal parents – were glued to our phones in case the hospital needed us to consent to medical tests. His parents were at his bedside, ready to make those decisions. The law is not acting in the best interests of the children.

To those who wish to protect me by denying me the choice to use my body to help my friends, your concern is misguided. Susan Golombok, professor emerita of family research at the University of Cambridge, wrote in April that a 20-year study of UK surrogacy families had “found no evidence of widespread psychological harm to children, parents, or surrogates”.

Our friends’ baby will grow up knowing where they came from, how much they were wanted and how much they are loved.
Hazel Davis
Trustee, SurrogacyUK Foundation